Written July 26th, 2024.
I was reading through the work of my favorite philosophers, Epictetus, when a particularly relevant passage caught my eye:
[1] “Remember that it isn’t just longing for political power and wealth that subjugates a person and makes him subservient to others, but also the desire for quiet, leisure, travel, and learning. To put it simply, whatever the external thing may be, if you value it, it makes you subservient to others. [2] Is there any difference, then, between longing to be a senator and longing not to be a senator? Between craving political power and craving not to have political power? Is there any difference between saying, ‘It upsets me that I can’t do a thing because I’m tied to my books like a corpse,’ and ‘It upsets me that I’ve no time for reading’? [3] The point is that a book, no less than salutations and public office, belongs to the class of things that are external to us and aren’t subject to will. [4] Why do you want to read? Tell me. If you take up a book in order to be entertained or to learn some point of theory, your reading is pointless and you’re not making the most of yourself. But if you’re reading for the right purpose—well, what can this be except contentment? And if your reading doesn’t bring you contentment, what’s the good of it?” (Epictetus, 2022, 4.4.1-4).
There have been periods in my life during which my engagements left me with no time for reading. As much a thrill as reading gives me for its ability to grow and strengthen my mind, I was tied to my other duties and had to restrict myself to quick glances into books. Other times, during which my educational pursuits left me with startlingly little time for other activities–whether this was because of the volume of studying to be done or because of the faulty management of my own time–I had to give up other experiences in favor of the thinking and learning required of me.
In either of these situations, I often find myself wishing for either more time to read or more time to do other activities. As Epictetus explains, thinking in such a way is a trap. The reading I do should bring me contentment, but I won't be content if reading more requires that I neglect my present responsibilities or if reading less requires that I neglect my studies of current commitment. I must identify how much reading is fitting for me at any given point and accept it as Nature's will. If I'm currently busy with work, with projects, or any other commitment, I will probably have less time to read and should be okay with that. Or, if I find myself in school, or in training, or in some other situation that dictates I spend time learning, I will probably find myself with more reading to do. It might not be the exact kind of reading I would prefer to be doing, but this is irrelevant. I should accept it and make the most of it nonetheless! Other times, when life has slowed down and I have more free time, I might find myself with ample time to read. I might even prefer that I had other things to do, but as Epictetus says, such an outcome is an external situation not subject to my will. Instead, I must focus on what I can control: my judgements, desires, aversions, and intentions to act. If I occupy my mind with sentiments that the grass would be greener if only my situation were otherwise, I make myself subservient to my situation. I become a slave to the external circumstances in which I find myself. I sacrifice my freedom and tranquility–and for what? So that I may fantasize about what it is not my present duty to perform?
While it is easier said than done to banish such patterns of thought and instead be content with the present, it is necessary for achieving an undisturbed mind that is content with its current situation. If I can build up enough skill to constantly recognize that present moment is worthy of my undivided attention–that the richness of reality can stand on its own and offers far more value than whatever alternative I could wish for in my mind–I can strengthen my hold over true freedom and approach that state of being that Nature reserves for the best of rational beings.
To be human means to simultaneously have the capacity for greatness and the need to find and stick to the right road for getting there. Those before me have made excellent progress in demarcating the operations of the human mind and how its irrationalities might be tamed. I need only listen intently, understand their teachings, and put in the elbow grease.
So, whatever my circumstances are, and however much reading I find myself doing in life, it is my job to focus on what is up to me. I must make the most of the tasks Nature sets before me, aiming to perform them as excellently as I can. In this way I will flourish and be worthy of this time and existence that has been so generously given to me.
References
Epictetus (2022). The complete works: handbook, discourses, and fragments. (R. Waterfield, Editor and Translator). The University of Chicago Press.